Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Did you ever have a fight with a friend because you like hanging with out his/her best friend? Well, it's happened to me, and is still ongoing. So, I'm sharing my thoughts here... maybe that will give me some consolation... *sigh*
Okay, it all started like this. My friend (let's call her Idhrenniel, it's her Elven name) let me join her group three months ago, which consisted of around 12 members. I was really happy, because their group was a really good and popular group.
For around two months, things were going well. Funny thing was, that not all the members of the group talked to me. Only Idhrenniel's best friend (let's call her KC) talked to me a lot. Eventually, my uneasiness grew, and I asked KC what was going on.
Well, in a phone call, she explained that the group members were getting really annoyed with me. I was shocked, because I used to think that we were all on really good terms. But I was thankful for KC, because she promised me that she still would be my friend.I wanted to clarify things up, so last month, I sent an email to Idhrenniel asking her what was going on, and if anything was wrong, what I could do to put things back to normal. Well... I received a 23 kilobyte email listing the things they found annoying, with paragraph-long explanations. Some included my obsession of LOTR, my status in class, and even (get this) the way I breathe! Oh my gawd, I was just so shocked.
One of the reasons took up two to three paragraphs. Idhrenniel was angry with me because she claimed that I was stealing KC from her. Idhrenniel being the sort of "boss" of the group, all the other members of the group, except KC (thank God!), took her side. I wasn't even trying to take away KC from Idhrenniel. Idhrenniel didn't even want me to talk to KC anymore, even though it was obvious she was one of the people I trusted the most! I was really hurt. It turned out that the group had been holding a grudge against me for two and a half months!
Gathering all the control I could muster, I emailed a very polite, tight letter. I stated, "Okay, thanks for being honest with me. I'm out."
The week after that was one of the hardest I had to endure. I had to be polite to be out of courtesy, when all I wanted to do was clobber them for deceiving me, for pulling up my hopes, then pulling them down and making me fall with a mighty crash.
However, there was one member I was forever grateful to. KC. She noticed that I never ate with them during lunch anymore, I was so quiet, and I looked absolutely miserable when I had no choice but to group with them, for school projects or whatever. I poured everything out to her, and she was quite shocked. She asked me to forward to her the email Idhrenniel sent me. (Strangely, I kept it.) I did, and she felt really bad because she never knew. I am really thankful to her for standing by me when all this happened.
Now, three and a half months ever since I "joined" the group, the silence is still ongoing. I don't eat lunch with them, and I only talk to them when I absolutely had to, and I always used a formal, firm tone with them. Idhrenniel and I still have a cold atmosphere between us. I now hang with my closest friend (let's call her Manwathiel, I think it's her elven name) more often.
I hope that you didn't have to go through this before. I feel better now that I've let it out. I just want to let you know: If you think Friendship was easy, think again.
~~ Eruanne
7:42 AM
