Hi again! I'm still struggling with my pal problems... Oh by the way, if you think I'm shallow and immature, I'm sure that you probably went through something like this at least once in your life, so I guess you know how it feels. Anyway, here goes...

Okay, Idhrenniel and some of the other group members gave me gifts for Christmas. I got them Friendship frames, since I thought that meant that they weren't angry with me anymore.

I couldn't have gotten it more wrong.

They still don't talk to me the way they used to. They don't eat lunch with me, or even invite me to. (but I think that's partly my fault.) They don't play volleyball with me anymore. I fell again, and this time, KC wasn't there to save me. She still talks to me and all that, but not that much anymore. I guess it's partly my fault. I don't think I can talk to KC without invoking annoyance from Idhrenniel. So, before, KC and I communicate by e-mail. But I haven't received any replies from her. My last reply from her was three weeks ago!

With KC kind of out of my reach at this point, I sought my true friends. Funny to some, they were in the higher and lower levels, but that didn't matter to me at all. They made me feel so happy again, and I am thankful to them for that. Of course, I still wanted to hang out with a friend in my level.

So, I stayed with Manwathiel. Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to her just because I'm having some PR problems. I've always been friends with her since Grade 5. She's a really nice person. Lots of people say she's my best friend. I don't know, because she said so herself that she prefers to be good friends with everyone, rather than to hang out with just one person. I agree with her, but I am happy to say that I am one of her closer friends. She and I don't need to tell each other nor explain it out, we just are.

Manwathiel and my other friends have made me feel better, but I still have a tiny bit of anger left on Idhrenniel and her group (excluding KC, she's still nice). So, in an ironic twist, I found my anger in a song written by Idhrenniel's fave band, Simple Plan. The song was "Welcome to my Life". Here's a copy:
*~*~*~*~*
"Welcome To My Life" - Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
But no one hears you screaming

*Pre-Chorus*
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

*Chorus*
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and their stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

*Pre-Chorus*
*Chorus*

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

*Chorus*

No you don't know what it's like [x2]
Welcome to my life [x3]

*~*~*~*~*
There you go, Idhrenniel. Of course, I want to change some lines. I don't think no one was there to save me (Manwathiel, KC, and my other friends definitely saved me), but I'm referring to the group that I thought liked me for me. And I don't think my life was really over, for reasons stated in the parenthesis above.

But... well, Idhrenniel, if you're somehow, by a cruel twist of fate, are reading this, I just want to let you know: Idhrenniel... Welcome to my life.

~~ Eruanne
P.S. I dedicate this to Manwathiel, the best friend I ever had here in my level. You got me through the first blows, and you're still helping me out, whether you know it or not. Thank you so much.

9:03 AM