This all started with an English assignment: Write in your journal. What would you say or do to stop an alien named Euzeth from destroying the Earth? The only language that he understands, other than his native language, is English. (I have no idea where my English teacher got Euzeth, but he said it’s from a computer game. I managed to find a picture of Euzeth from the computer game, but it looks nothing like the description I made up in my story. Forgive me for that mistake…)

Well, I threw myself full-on into it, and came out with a story that filled in 7 pages of my notebook. I was proud of my achievement... until I realized that not only did it have to be only 1 paragraph, it wasn't graded. *mutters incoherently*
But my English teacher still thought it was pretty good, you know. It makes me happy to know I can write a good story.
So here's a narrative on how chocolate saved the world. It has hints of Dan Brown in it... it's obvious I'm a huge fan of his, huh? Enjoy! And do leave a comment, please?

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Euzeth the Alien - Operation Annihilate Planet Earth

EMERGENCY!!! CALL THE CIA!!!

Mission: Convince Euzeth to withdraw his troops from Earth before they begin their attack, set at 2400 hours. Do not resort to methods which will agitate Euzeth and induce him to attack. Speak clear English, his only other language other than Jabunga, a mysterious alien language not yet deciphered by mankind.
Agent: CIA Head Communications Agent, Agent #0312976 - Eruanne. To be dropped off at at the explosion location: Philippine Science High School Main Campus, located at Agham Road, Diliman, Quezon City, Manila, Philippines, at 2130 hours.

THE CLOCK IS TICKING. CAN AGENT ERUANNE STOP EUZETH THE ALIEN BEFORE HE PUTS OPERATION A.P.E. IN ACTION?

2130 – 2 hours 30 minutes left
The helicopter landed in an area some place away from the explosion location. Agent Eruanne stepped out, unarmed. The only defense she will have is her communication.

She stepped into the Front Lobby of Philippine Science High School Main Campus. The whole school was wired with billions of canisters containing the world's most explosive substance: antimatter. Agent Anna shuddered as she saw the silvery globules floating lazily within the canisters, shining with an almost taunting glow.

2140 – 2 hours 20 minutes left
Agent Eruanne stepped nervously into the Girls’ Residence Hall Annex. The DNA tracker she now clasped in her hands began to beep rapidly, indicating that the alien was somewhere in the vicinity of the building. Carefully sidestepping the canisters, she followed the sound of the DNA tracker (containing a single DNA of Euzeth) as she walked around the dormitory.

2150 – 2 hours 10 minutes left
Agent Eruanne stopped quickly as she stood in front of a dormitory room labeled 203. The DNA tracker’s metallic beeping sounded faster and faster, and the device itself began to flash, indicating that Euzeth stood inside the room.

Pocketing her tracker, Agent Eruanne mustered all her courage and English knowledge, as she reached out her hand to twist the metal doorknob, knowing and yet not knowing what lay behind the old wooden door.

2153 – 2 hours 7 minutes left
The first things Agent Eruanne saw were some beds, closets, and tables. At the center of the room, standing at the window, was her enemy: Euzeth the Alien.

He was about as tall as her 6’0” height, and his skin was a ghastly shade of green, mottled with dark purple and black splotches. He stood on two tree-trunks like legs shaded in dark green. One of his four tentacle-like arms held the feared “jump-starter”: the device which would allow the antimatter to fall out of magnetic suspension and come in contact with the matter of the canister; thus, annihilation. Doom.

Euzeth turned away from the window to face her. It was his eyes, however, that made Agent Eruanne feel truly fearful. They were large, yellow, bulbous eyes, with red cat-eye slits. In those slits, she could see anger and the thirst for revenge.

Euzeth surveyed her with his large yellow eyes, and Agent Eruanne felt as though she was being x-rayed.

“So,” he said slowly, his voice low and sounding like he had pebbles in his throat. “Human, pitiful human, have you come to watch your miserable Earth come to an end by the great Euzeth?”

2155 – 2 hours 5 minutes left
Agent Eruanne swallowed nervously, her palms sweaty. “No, I have not,” she answered, as calmly and clearly as she could. “I know I cannot disarm you nor remove you from this place without threatening the safety of the world. I’ve come to talk things through. All I ask is your attention.”

At this, Euzeth cackled evilly, a ghostly laugh that made the hairs on the back of Agent Eruanne’s neck stand on end.

“Hahahaha! You cannot defeat the great Euzeth! I am the smartest, most perfect being in the entire universe! I have managed to penetrate your stupid human defenses. You cannot defeat the most perfect, most intelligent being: I, Euzeth! You pitiful humans, you – “ Here the alien proceeded to say some rather unpleasant terms which cannot be repeated.
“Such an advanced life form… such an advanced ego,” Agent Eruanne thought wryly to herself. She knew how important optimism was in these missions. She needed every ounce of it now.

2205 – 1 hour 55 minutes left
“Please listen,” Agent Eruanne said. “There is no point in destroying the Earth! We humans can help you!” She clasped her hands together nervously.

Euzeth growled at her statement. “It was the Earth that has hurt me and my kin in the first place,” he said. Agent Eruanne thought she heard a tinge of sadness and regret in his voice as he told her his unhappy tale.

“We lived happily, my kin and I, on our planet Oohjabangga, the 3rd planet from the star Faggora in the Sebaro galaxy in the Crab Nebula.” He began. “Then, our head science academy: O.A.S.I.S., or Oohjabangga Advancement in Science Institutional Society, discovered a great material in abundance, found in the soils of our world. This thing you call antimatter. We knew that, if used properly, this material would truly help our society.”

Then his voice seemed to crack, as though the memories of his homeland haunted him. “But, before we could further our research, a piece of your space junk: a 10-pound piece of metal, managed to enter our planet through an ozone hole in the atmosphere. This metal came into contact with our specimens of antimatter, and-” Here he swallowed, as the memories were still fresh in his mind. “Annihilation occurred. Our small humble planet-” Agent Eruanne stifled a snort at the word ‘humble’; the way Euzeth talked about himself certainly wasn’t the epitome of humility. “- was gone forever. Because of you humans, you destroyed my life and the lives of hundreds of others of my kind. For that, I want revenge.” He hissed angrily, leering at Agent Eruanne, opening a mouth to bare sharp, pointed fangs.

2220 – 1 hour 40 minutes left
Agent Eruanne felt a strange remorse for Euzeth. “I am sorry for your loss, Euzeth,” she murmured to the distressed alien. “But destroying the Earth will not bring Ooh… ah, Oohjabangga back! This is madness!”

“Madness?” seethed Euzeth. “My life, my home, everything I had and lived for was destroyed by you! I do not care anymore. I simply want to see the planet that caused me such misery go up in smoke as well! At least you cannot hurt any more of the innocent lives out there!”

In his anger, Euzeth sent a blast of high energy from his tentacle at a bunk bed, labeled Athena in pink above, and Erika in orange below. The bed blazed for a fraction of a second, then crumbled under the blast’s high heat to become a pile of ashes on the tiled floor, scattered like a pile of morbid confetti.

2230 – 1 hour 30 minutes left
Agent Eruanne jumped with fear to see that Euzeth was now angrier than ever. “Wait,” she said. “You cannot destroy the Earth! We are important to the delicate balance of space! Cause the Earth to explode, and you shall cause other heavenly bodies to be affected as well. Things will go awry!

“And, the Earth, it was the start of life! Would you want to burn away all that history, which brought even you to the world?”

“You, humans, bring me into the world?” Euzeth scoffed. “That is utter nonsense! We have far surpassed your puny intelligence! Have you not, stupid human, heard of… panspermia?”

At the last word, Agent Eruanne gasped. Panspermia was a theory that life on earth was seeded from space. It was never proven, but the presence of Euzeth and his mentioning of the theory, made her want to rethink on it. She felt the impact of the theory slam into her mind like a train, mocking her in all its scientific glory.

2245 – 1 hour 15 minutes left
Agent Eruanne cried out in anger and frustration. “NO! You cannot do this,” she whispered, her back making a soft thumping sound as she fell despairingly against a closet.

At the sound, Euzeth fumingly curved a tentacle into a U shape. He then sent out several blasts of high energy, the red laser-like beams coming out of his curved tentacle shaped like a U. These U-shaped beams caught Agent Eruanne full-on, chaining her to the closet by her neck, wrists, and ankles.

Euzeth laughed. “Do not try to get out of there, human,” he cackled. “You will burn like that bed I just sent to ashes.” He gestured to the pile of ashes, which had once been Athena and Erika’s beds. “It was kind of me, not to kill you. I wan to see the expression on your face when you see the time of your world come to an end. Hahahahahaha!”

2310 – 50 minutes left
Agent Eruanne felt tears pricking the backs of her eyes. She saw memories of her 26 years of life on Earth. She remembered picking up history books at the library, eagerly perusing the musty old volumes to learn more about the world. She remembered all the beautiful natural wonders, as well as all the man-made wonders, that she had seen and heard about. Then she saw Euzeth, the Tragic Alien, who refused to let go of revenge.

She was determined not to cry, not to show weakness, but somehow a tear fell from her eye, slipped down her cheek, and fell on the laser ring around her neck. The teardrop lay like a crystal on the laser for a half-second, and then evaporated in the intense heat, releasing a soft smoky haze of steam.

Reminiscing on the Earth’s time, realizing that she had come to the Apocalypse, and the fear of what would ultimately happen. All these feelings overwhelmed her, and with a soft shuddering sigh, she finally allowed the tears to fall, shimmering like diamonds; the shattered pieces of her fearful soul.

The drops fell and lingered on the laser cuff for a heartbeat, then evaporated. Agent Eruanne allowed herself to cry, with the steam of her bitter tears caressing her cheek in her wake.

2340 – 20 minutes left
Agent Eruanne raised her head from its lowered position. She surveyed her surroundings. Euzeth was prowling among the canisters of antimatter, checking to see if they were ready.

Agent Eruanne looked to her right, and her dark brown eyes fell on a bag of M&M’s which lay within a plastic object hanger. Suddenly, an idea welled into her mind as hope welled into her heart.

2350 – 10 minutes left
Agent Eruanne strained to grab the bag of chocolate without alerting Euzeth of her movements. Her fingers grazed the slick packaging, and she clenched it within her fingers. But the laser cuff around her right wrist brushed her skin, and she dropped the bag back into the hanger, shocked and hurt by the heat.

She tried once more to grab it from the object hanger. After several futile attempts, she wanted to give up. But no, not now. Agent Eruanne was not a quitter.

2355 – 5 minutes left
Agent Eruanne smiled as she clasped the bag of M&M’s in her fingers at last. She called out to the alien, “Hey, Euzeth!” The alien turned, then blanched as he saw the object Agent Eruanne held in her right hand.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

2357 – 3 minutes left
Agent Eruanne smirked. “Chocolate,” she said simply. “It was made by man and man alone. If you destroy the Earth, you destroy all… the… chocolate.” She said, emphasizing each syllable of the last three words.

Euzeth shuddered. “No,” he moaned. “Not chocolate! It is the rarest item in the entire universe…”

Agent Eruanne gestured with her eyes at the antimatter canisters, then to the jump-starter in his tentacles, then finally to the bag of candy clutched in her hand.

“It’s your choice, Euzeth. Are you willing to let the ONLY source of the rarest item in the universe die?”

2359 – 1 minute left
Agent Eruanne saw Euzeth shudder violently, as though he was going through a great internal struggle. Which he was.

“Oh… very well!” Euzeth cried out. With a snap of a tentacle, the lasers chaining Agent Eruanne to the closet door disappeared. She fell to the floor with a soft thump. She quickly got up and walked over to the now quiet alien.

“Euzeth,” she said softly. “Take all your antimatter and go. You did the right thing. And, as a token of thanks,” here she paused, smiled, and handed the alien the bag of M&M’s.

“I’ll give you some chocolate.”

Euzeth wrapped a tentacle around the bag of candy. He spoke no words, but Agent Eruanne could read his eyes like a book. And she understood.

Then, with a flash of light, Euzeth the Alien, along with all his antimatter, disappeared from Philippine Science High School, and from the face of the Earth, as if he had never been.

2400 – TIME OUT
Agent Eruanne breathed a sigh of relief. She fell against the closet once more, which was labeled Gabrielle. “Thank goodness for her M&Ms,” Agent Eruanne sighed. “Her chocolate just saved the world.”

Agent Eruanne ran a hand through her thick raven hair, and inspected the damage on her brown skin. The laser had made a small burn in her right wrist, but it was nothing serious. Standing up, she brushed herself off and left the building. She stepped out into the cool night air, staring at the night sky.

For a moment, she thought that some of the celestial bodies seemed to gleam with the colors of M&M’s.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

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So... whadja think? I'm so evil... I practically incinerated my roommates' beds for this... ^^ Do leave a comment, please! *makes puppy dog eyes*

~~ Eruanne
Current mood: very very amused
Current music: Minas Morgul from LOTR:ROTK soundtrack by Howard Shore (I dunno, it just sounds so evil.... mwahahaha)

5:59 PM